An obsessive letter to a soup company

So I am so taken with the Escarole vegetable classic soup! I found some randomly at a scratch and dent supermarket, and then scoured the areas actual grocery stores looking for more. To no avail, I might add. Although I am sure you are aware of that, since when I came to look at your website to find out where I might buy some or print a screenshot to prove something to that snide stuck up grocery store manager who I thought had it in for me and my unreasonable requests... it wasn't there. So not only have you eliminated the product, but that mean lady isn't mean after all. So basically my day is kind of wrecked.

If you want to make it up to me, you could unload any spare Escarole soup you have sitting in a warehouse by sending it directly to my house. Obviously I'm not fussy about dates and such, since I was in a scratch and dent supermarket when this whole thing started. I'd pay a reasonable market price, which I figure would be pretty low since if there was a market for the stuff you'd probably still be making it. So if you do have some soup laying around to make my day, please contact me via email and I will forward you my mailing address.

Hurry, since the last can from the scratch and dent supermarket is heating up on the stove now.

I actually sent the above letter. I'll keep you posted

Checking in on the blog

I've been quite busy since Mr V went away. Me and the little guy have been wildly dashing from one activity to another and basically trying to distract each other from the fact that daddy isn't here right now. Mr. V is sort of taken aback by my activity level and depressed that I'm not more depressed and despondent from his absence. I'm a bit sad, it's true, but considering I'm trying to accomplish so much and have so many activities going on, it's not too bad so my strategy is working. I am doing things that Mr V would never never never consider doing, like home improvement projects, and the crowning triumph is the outrageous plan for this Sunday, which is father's day and sure to make me sad unless I take DRASTIC STEPS.

So I am, and my parents are helping, which officially makes them the coolest EVER. We are going to see the "Who's Yo Daddy Father's Day Brunch and All-Star Drag Show" at Streetcar Charlie's.

AWESOME.

Your Tax Dollars At Work - Census Haiku

An empty meadow.
Time to find a neighbor for
enumeration.

Tales of A Florida Census Worker.... A Haiku

I knock; no answer...
A seasonal resident
Winter birds flew home.

He's a lumberjack and it's NOT okay.

Okay, this is a secret post that I am not supposed to be writing, for a number of reasons. First of all, I should be paying attention to my training. I have taken a temporary job as an enumerator for the decennial census. I'm going to be one of those people who comes to your door and asks about who lived there on April 1st. Assuming that you missed the billboards, census forms that came to your house, ads in the paper, discussions on the radio, blockbuster ads during the Superbowl, and other valuable uses of our tax dollars.

So I am in training. How is it?

Boring.  It turns out we are going out in the field tomorrow so that  
is a relief. This joker is reading directly out of a manual and he is  
not a talented reader.   I am going to stab myself in the eye with a  
number 2 pencil.  Also, he is a slight dialect speaker, and since  
every sixth word is about a question during a hypothetical interview,  
this man is standing up there with a giant double edged blade wildly  
swinging it from side to side....

"so after you axe mr burns if he lived in unit d, you need to axe him  
about the status of unit a.  Then you will fill out a d-225, and start  
a blank EQ by axing question S1."

I Got All Excited And Cleaned and Organized

Unfortunately it was at a friends house. We worked hard, we moved furniture, we reinvisioned and recreated some of the rooms of her house. Meanwhile, I still have an empty and lonely vacuum sitting in the middle of my kitchen and crap ALL OVER. It's not that I did nothing here - I have a mostly crossed off to do list to show for my week, but when I get these bursts of organizational energy, I would love it if they happened in my own house occasionally.

Please.

Thank you for listening oh gods of the vacuum.

Oh, and the eat at home challenge continues - I haven't touched a restaurant - but when I went to the friends house who is SUPPOSED to be doing this with me, I was quite shocked to see a Panera Bread cup full of apparently fresh lemonade, which isn't proof of cheating but is highly suspicious. But weight actually went UP half a pound, which sucked. I am considering joining a gym. Preferably one I would actually go to this time.

So my weight is at 1*0 - a number which looks quite a lot better on a blog with that little asterisk to sanitize and privatize it than it looks hanging out on MY ASS.

Eat at home doesn't mean eat crap?

So I have been successful so far in resisting the allure of the local Dunkin Donuts, but not in losing any weight. I remember (well do I remember) being told that the day to day fluctuations of the scale don't matter - Weight Watchers recommends only being weighed once a week. On their scales, no less, so I am forced to toss out their conclusions as somewhat biased. At any rate, if I can move the scales drastically just by moving my bowels, it may not be a 100% accurate number.

Still, I was hoping to also lose some weight here on the Eat At Home challenge, and here we are 36 hours in and I'm up .5 pounds. True, that was before I went potty (I have a toddler, excuse me) and 36 hours isn't very much of a benchmark but I am still somewhat bummed.

Perhaps I shouldn't have attempted to keep myself out of restaurants by making myself theirresistible homemade chex mix . I love it, and am helpless before it. The shitty thing is that I knew that before I made the damn stuff.